Oddly right after Jim left, I started reading books about being married or being a good wife. And I learned that even though I tried, there were some things that I was failing on everyday!
I thought I was a good wife. Jim came home to a clean house, and his children most of the time in bed or just about in bed. He had very little that he had to do around the house or with the kids. I tried to do it all. But I didn't show him the respect that needed.
At my church we did a series called Love and Respect. In its simplest form, men need respect, and women need love.
I thought by taking care of things I was showing him love, but what he was missing was a smiling wife to greet him at the door and one who said thanks for working so hard for us. I didn't do those things.
The book of proverbs has 31 chapters... so I typically read which ever chapter correlates with the date. Jim left May 19th 2011. That next day, I read Proverbs 20... now in Proverbs 20:22 it says Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you. I thought how fitting... but then the following day in Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife I thought long and hard on this. I told myself that I was a good wife. I took care of him, but that isn't enough. As wives we are supposed to be respectful and loving even when our husbands don't deserve it.
I have learned a lot in this year, and one thing I have learned is that I need to change my heart before the Lord and stop trying to change my husband's. No one is perfect. Certainly not I!
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